Leading from Center

For most of my first three years as an executive director, I was also still running the company I had built before it. What I had done, without ever deciding to, was make myself load-bearing.

A mentor once told me leadership is widening the river so more tributaries can flow into it. It took me years to stop trying to be the whole river.

Shoulders tight, eyes scanning for the next crisis. That’s my body bracing, and years of leading taught me bracing drains the clarity it’s trying to protect.

Fifteen seconds before a high-stakes meeting, one breath before the reply you could fire off right now. That’s where trust actually gets built.

Notice where you’ve tightened, then release five percent of it on your next exhale. That’s the whole practice, and it’s usually enough to interrupt the bracing.

Boundaries aren't walls. They are how care stays sustainable, for you and for the people who depend on you.

My friend Jamaal texted me in the middle of a stressful day: there’s a peace that wasn’t there before. He’d named something I hadn’t put words to yet.

Performance metrics move fast; purpose moves deep. The steadiest leaders learn to let the second one lead.

For years I led as the person who always had it together. The mask worked, and that’s exactly what made it hard to set down.